Ask Brummipapiteddy

Dear Brummipapiteddy,

I am the only teddy bear living with my human.

My human has recently started school and is away for several hours every weekday. I usually stay on the bed until he comes home.

Unlike you, I usually don't have access to a computer or the internet, so I can't even read your wonderful webpage while I'm waiting.

Sometimes I get a little lonely.

How should I spend my days? And how can I make friends with other teddy bears if there aren't any living in my house?

‐ Lonely Leopard

Dear Leopard,

First of all, let me assure you that you are not alone.

Well... You are alone in your house.

But you are certainly not the only teddy who has ever felt this way.

As I already mentioned in my A teddy's guide to humans article, my good friend and fellow teddy bear Dino once lived alone as the only teddy bear with our kid before befriending a Chinese hippo. So I turned to him before writing my response to you. He told me that at first he thought nothing interesting ever happened while the humans were away. But then he learned to pay attention.

"Have you ever noticed how different a house sounds when everyone has gone?" he asked.
"The ticking of a clock.
The wind gently tapping against a window.
A floorboard that creaks at exactly eleven o'clock every morning.
The cheerful little bird that always lands on the fence.
There is an entire daytime world that humans rarely notice because they are busy elsewhere.
Teddies, fortunately, have plenty of time to observe it."

As for not having the internet...
Don't worry.
I have met quite a few computers during my lifetime. Most of them spend their days asking humans for software updates.
Meanwhile I have been collecting stories for over fifty years without needing a single password. You would be surprised how entertaining a dust particle floating through a beam of sunlight can become if you watch it long enough.

But maybe there is a library not too far away from your house? You could try to sneak out once in a while and go there. Most librarians are very busy during opening hours and won't really notice a teddy writing emails or reading webpages. Of course there is still a small risk that they do and then you would be grounded at the front desk or in the toy section until the library closes and your kid would probably be quite upset about your disappearance...

Are you sure that there is really no computer or smartphone in the house that you could use from time to time? If your kid doesn't have a computer yet you need to explore the whole house and not just his room. Many parents have at least one old dusty computer somewhere...

But if there really is nothing in the house with which to go online you need to be patient. Maybe he will finally get another teddy for his birthday or Christmas. Or he will get a computer. Many school aged kids nowadays finally get one or even need one for school.

If he or his parents have a computer that they take with them during the day, maybe you can once in a while sneak out during the night and read and write emails?

Don't despair but stay creative and hopefully you will soon find a solution for your internet connection.

Now let us address your second question.

How do you make friends with other teddy bears?

That is a difficult one.

The obvious solution would be for your human to adopt another teddy. I have been recommending this approach for decades.

Curiously, the parents of the little human usually claim they already have "enough teddy bears" in the house. This is a fascinating statement because no scientific study has ever established what "enough teddy bears" actually means. Personally, I remain unconvinced that such a number exists.

If there is no other teddy in your household, maybe there are other teddies already living in your neighbourhood however. Maybe you spot one while you are looking out the window. Maybe the squirrels that roam through your backyard know about them and can connect you with them. Maybe you have already seen them when your kid visited them or they visited you? Always watch out. There are teddies in almost every neighbourhood and you only need the right opportunity to get in touch.

Until another teddy arrives, I suggest making friends with the other members of your household.

Allow me to explain.

Does your house have a pillow? Excellent listeners.
Blankets? Wonderful storytellers. They have travelled to every room in the house.
Books? Quiet, but astonishingly knowledgeable.
The old alarm clock? Very punctual. A little obsessed with time, perhaps, but dependable.
Even the houseplants can make pleasant companions. They don't say much. On the other hand, neither do most teddy bears.

You may also be surprised how many neighbours you already have.
Birds. Squirrels. Butterflies. Clouds. The postman. The cat who strolls across the garden every Tuesday.
Humans often hurry past these little events.
A teddy has the luxury of noticing them all.

Now, I'd like to share one of my favourite hobbies.
I call it...

The Great Human Guessing Game.

Every morning, when your kid has left, make a prediction.
"Today he'll come home smiling." or "I think today he'll return having muddy shoes."
Or "I suspect he'll forget where he put his homework." The last prediction has an astonishing success rate.

When your kid returns, see whether you were right. I have been playing this game for decades. Humans remain delightfully unpredictable. And it keeps you busy while your kid is at school.

And finally, little Leopard... You asked how to make teddy friends. I believe you've already made one.

Every teddy who reads this page becomes part of a rather special club.
We may live in different houses. Some of us sit on beds. Others guard sofas. Some travel the world in backpacks.
But every one of us understands what it means to wait patiently until a human needs a hug.
That means we're at least colleagues, probably friends.
So whenever you feel lonely, remember that somewhere, another teddy is sitting quietly on another bed, keeping watch over another human.

There are far more of us than you might think.

Warm hugs,
Brummipapiteddy

Brummipapiteddy's Advice for Solitary Teddies

Never think that nothing happens while your human is at school.
The sun crosses the sky.
Clouds invent new shapes.
Birds hold loud meetings outside the window.
The house tells quiet little stories all day long.
A patient teddy never runs out of things to discover and explore.

Teddy Research Institute

Question: How many teddy bears are enough?

After fifty years of careful investigation, the Teddy Research Institute has reached the following conclusion:

"We are still collecting data."

No upper limit has yet been discovered.


You can write to me with your questions at: